Somehow still alive

[tomakeanoffer]

SO uh, I've kind of been really absent the last month or so and for that I'm sorry. I thought I was coming out of my fog but I kinda...didn't. It's been exhausting and hard and clawing my way out of the hellscape of my brain has been not easy.

I'm not sure I'm coming out of it properly until at least the middle of October, as my birthday always fucks me up, no matter what. I'm doing my best though, so we'll see.

I feel like I have more to say, I don't know what that is though. I'm alive and I'm going to try to be a person more, even if it's only in fits and starts.

Something that is making me happy though. This:



Join the 2019 Halloween Gift Exchange!

I love that it's a thing this year and I wish I thought I could participate bu I don't want to fail and let someone down, so if I can maybe get my brain together, maybe I'll try.

I keep thinking of trying to do something happymaking over the next month but I have no idea what that's going to be. I want to make myself look forward to keeping my head up for my birthday but fuck, it is really hard.

So, if you just wanna leave supportive things, happy thoughts, or whatever, feel free. I am glad you are all here and I hope I can make myself more functional soon.

Comments

[shadaras]

<333

I love how many little Halloween things go around the internet! There's a couple fic exchanges, and this, and it generally seems to make everyone happy and excited.

(someday I gotta dress up as a witch and get a picture with my darling black cat on my shoulders; that'd be very fun.)

Even if you haven't felt super present a lot of the time, the times we've gotten to chat have been lovely, and hopefully we'll be able to do that more <3

also my head had gotten a theoretical idea for a game stuck in it for Legacy 2e, so if you wanna hear me talk about a highly theoretical game I kinda wanna run, hit me up at some point :)

[tomakeanoffer]

Oh, wow, I am so here for listening to you babble about your idea! That general scheme of story sounds so up my alley and actually relevant to a thing I'm trying to work on, so yeah,definitely going to poke you at some point.

I am glad you've enjoyed talking to me in its and pieces though. I feel so spaced out half the time these days, I am not always sure I make sense. <3 Glad I make enough sense to talk to people though.

[shadaras]

Yeah! I love the concept of Legacy and doing generational story-telling with gaming! It's so cool! And lets you do such different things than most RPGs!

<3

[runicmagitek]

That kind of fog is beyond miserable. Been trying to clear my own fog this past month :\ not really looking forward to fall and winter due to it making things worse for multiple reasons. It's hard. Even more so when you try to do everything to make things manageable and it still sucker punches you. And waiting for it all to lift is just as miserable. So many hugs for you! ♥

Oh man, another gift exchange I don't have time for! XD I'm already juggling a bunch, but I do love that this exists! Even if you don't participate in that exchange in particular, I hope you find joy in some happymaking thing :D

[dine]

you know, even if you don't feel you can sign up for the exchange for reasons, I sometimes find enjoyment in just thinking about how I'd participate - making mental lists and doing some 'shopping' for way cool items. that way, maybe you'll be ahead on ideas for *next* year :)

I do hope the brain fog fades away soon - that's hard work. do what you can to pamper yourself; indulge in flowers or little treats when you get a chance, because you deserve them

[flamingsword]

💜💜💜

Hang in there, kitten.

[umadoshi]

*hugs hugs*

[adafrog]

{{{hugs}}}

[winterxblossom]

Hang in there Bast.. I will pray for you! <3

[tomakeanoffer]

<3

[tomakeanoffer]

<3333 Thank you

[tomakeanoffer]

*purrs at and snugs* <33333

[tomakeanoffer]

Thank you so, so much. <3

[tomakeanoffer]

Doing okay at this point. I'm still and fuzzy but I could be so, so much worse.

[tomakeanoffer]

<333333 It really is, but I am doing my best not to let it eat me entirely. I think I'm coming in and out of it a bit more than I had been before now, so yaaaay.

[winterxblossom]

Always.

[analise010]

*hugs* I'm happy to see you're feeling better, friend! I'm sorry that this last month has been so difficult. If you and A would like to get a Halloween card from me, you can let me know here.

Also, I'm doing these fun new readings to prep for the Halloween, if you'd like a 4 Pages Reading, let me know!

[tomakeanoffer]

<333333333

Brains are doing okay rigt now, oddly enough. I think breaking the silence in a lot of ways has helped me a lot.