this is not your loss, this is your offering

Hey everyone!

I am alive, mostly functional, and keeping my head up. It's been well, a time, as it has been for everyone, but I think things are going to start looking up soon. It's been a comfortable temperature as of late, which is great, and I've been writing, drawing, and doing all sorts of good planning with people.

I've been thinking of doing divination again. I'm not ready to poke my bones properly but I've been itching to do tarot/oracle again and I might throw up a post in the next couple of days.

If I do, it might be a tarot/oracle mix, one tarot, one oracle. I'm thinking I'll do Marigold Tarot and Halloween Oracle as well as Shadowscapes Tarot and WItchlings Oracle.

Not asking for anything in return. I just wanna get int he habit of doing the thing again. I'll probably do it on the 12th, and try and have them all done by/before my birthday, which will be in exactly a month after.

In other random news, I gauged my ears to 12mm, have to make a video for a virtual con we're doing next month and am going to try and write tiny stories on Twitter for the month of October. Lots of stuff but I think i need to be busy right now, so here we are.

So, I watched Good Omens: Lockdown at 3AM today and I...I am so happy. I have not slept properly in an age and yesterday was a hard go but last night, for multiple reasons, was kind of the best thing.

Okay, one more wordy meme thing (I'm going to finish the other thing tonight/tomorrow but sleep might be a thing that happens first, we'll see):

Give me the title of a hypothetical fic (and fandom/characters/pairing if you like, or tell me to go original if you are inclined) and I will:
- tell you what it's about
- recall my favorite or least favorite parts
- possibly attempt to write an excerpt of it

( fandoms I can prolly do a thing for )

Now that I feel less like death, I'm considering watching horror movies until the sun comes back.

ETA: Linking to one of my favorite <5 minute horror films It's a Youtube link, just so you know. I believe dreamerinsilico showed it to me and it's such a comforting thing to me, also has helped a thing in my brain blossom, but that's besides the point.

I am so, so tired and sick as all get out. I've basically been sleeping for the past two days with occasional moment so being awake, feeling miserable and then going back to bed.

I have nothing more to say really but bluh, I just want to feel better.

I keep fucking around with art that is not word related and it feels really good? Not like I'm great at it or anything but I think that's part of it. I don't feel like i have to be and the idea of just fucking around with some ink and brushes, or a marker or two, is really treating my brain nicely.

I'm considering issuing myself some kind of challenge but I don't know if that would take some joy out of it. Not anything big, mind you, just something like 'Try to fill this sketchbook with random doodles in the next two months' sort of things. Or maybe making a prompt list and trying to incorporate that into something once every few days. Just something that keeps me going back to making art things, because I forget that it is really good for me to have a creative form that is no word related.

I also kinda wanna draw people random brush pen doodles. Maybe with a single color involved but like, it could be fun? id on't know.

In other news, fullupwihfire and I's roommate seems to have come back to the apartment for a while. This is fine, we just didn't realize she was coming back until she...kinda did

Okay, going to go do my last tarot reading and then maybe some word art? Or maybe just throwing ink into a square sketchbook. We'll see.

Oh! Also, if anyone would like to leave love:

holiday love meme 2019
my thread here

So, it was brought to my attention that I realized the last time I did tarot, I never finished everyone's readings.

Guys, I am so sorry. These last few months have been....well, the last few months.

So, because I never intended to drop the ball that way: If I've owed you a reading that I never wound up doing, please leave a comment on this post and I will give you a reading of your choice up to 5 cards.

I've been really back and forth today, so I haven't gotten as many of the initial readings done as intended but I also haven't slept in the past ~30 hours and no one needs my sleep deprived tarot rambling.

Hopefully sleep will happen tonight though and I can knock through a few more of the readings tomorrow.

I'm going to try to make a list of things I want to accomplish by next Friday. I feel like I need the structure and the reminder, probably the accountability too. We'll see how it goes.

I want to develop a writing practice again, I want to tryyyy and maybe pick up doing visual art a bit more than I have because I think part of the reason I was able to crack out a story in three days was because I was giving my brain something besides writing to do.

I'm not even going to try to write/draw every day or anything like that but if I can do something small maybe twice/three times a week, that would be awesome.

Also, I want to send small parcels/postcards for the end of the year but I'm not sure how that's going to go. I have the stuff to dos o, I just need to get myself in gear to make it happen.

Had not said anything here but I did talk about this to fullupwithfire but I'm considering either starting a kind o gratitude/positivity practice either here or in a more private place. I'm still not sure yet. I kind of want to write them down physically but I also know I'm terrible about hand writing things.

Okay, I have to star getting my shit together, so I can transfer houses for Thanksgiving tomorrow.

- I am alive and hanging in there.

- I played around with art, partially thanks to yhlee who send me an awesome care package last week.

- I started working on a story that is technically done at the end of November.

- We're not talking about NaNo.

- I did holiday_wishes and will link to that when it goes up.

- I think, when we get the chance to get the book, fullupwithfire and I are going to try to do a version of The Artist's Way, which should be interesting. We'll see how ti goes.

- One of the things yhlee send me was a tarot deck that both A and I love. There were a few decks in there but the Synesthesia deck in particular was fascinating and hit both our brains well.

- If I offer to do tarot readings over the next week or two, would anyone want them? Free 1-3 a gift/gratitude theme?

- Alternately, if I offer to take 15-20 prompts to do from now until the end of the year, would anyone want to throw me something to do? Either fannish or original and I don't promise to get ot all of them bu I want to od something, so yeah.

- I think I had something else to say but uh... Yeah, who even knows what that was.

So, because this month is...this month, we found out that our electric and internet never got paid. I thought I paid it, but I never got the confirmation email and the money never came out of my bank account.

At this point, we just don't have the money to cover it, groceries, and meds/doctors that I probably need to see because this fucking cold is still here.

So, if anyone has anything to spare, here's the usual Paypal link.

Things I can offer in exchange:
- Graphics (icons/aesthetics/banners)
- Beta reading
- Tarot/oracle readings
- Bone/curio readings
- Playlists

Update: We got the electric/internet taken care of. We still could use extra getting through this last little while but next Friday everyone in my house gets paid, and I am getting my full check, so yay!