I'll post the Friday meme later today but right now I need to get this out there.

[tomakeanoffer]

So, I’m assuming I don’t need to say this, but on the off chance I do, if you are someone who feels that kink is inherently sexual and/or that things that could be interpreted as kinky have no place at Pride/public events, I’ll ask that you quietly leave this space.

I’m not down for anyone imposing sexuality on me if I don’t choose it and the fact that I keep seeing this come up and people doing exactly that, is just really getting under my skin. How I get through the day, how I survive doesn't deserve to be sexualized by you, or anyone else. If you choose to engage in similar activities that get you off, that's fine, but fuck you if you think you have any right to know, or assume anything about me that I don't offer up freely.

I will goddamn survive, and if I choose to do that with a collar around my neck, so fucking be it.

Please note: This is not up for debate. I deserve to feel safe in the space I made for myself and that is what I'm doing here.

Comments

[worlds_of_smoke]

I think the problem is that kink is almost always shown as sexual during the few times it shows up in pop culture and it's really permeated the subculture. :/ I eventually deleted my FetLife account because so many people were interested in the sexual side of things and I am most definitely not interested in that.

I won't lie and say that I don't struggle to unlink kink and sex in my own head. Like any other cultural belief, it can get under your skin. But I recognize that, while I struggle to unlearn that belief, others may be further down that pathway and may be able to fully accept kink as a non-sexual thing that just happens to have sexual overtones for some people.

As far as kink at Pride... When I went to Pride, the most kink I saw was people wearing harnesses and, IIRC, one person wearing a full face mask. It didn't bother me at all and, even if it had, I'm a fucking adult and it's my job to deal with my own fucking emotions. I have no right to dictate who can go to Pride. I do believe there are groups that shouldn't be there, but that's not because they're not queer enough for Pride, but because of their hate-filled rhetoric.

[tomakeanoffer]

Oh yeah, I get that. Like, cultureal habits are a thing that happens. What I'm reacting to is the idea that, it doens't matter what you, the person involved in the kink, are saying, it is always sexual or has some kind of sexual undertoners and thus, is inappropriate for an event or situation where children can see the thing.

Note: I am absolutely willing to talk about the level of kink and adjcent things that can be on display at public events that minors are going to be at. But like, A) not inherently sexual and B) even if it was, why is it okay for straight people to do PDA all over the fucking place and the culure not act out in response but if I choose to wear a collar in a sitaion where I am going to be anxious and this is a thing that brings me comofrt, is not.

[worlds_of_smoke]

My opinion on MOGAI stuff in public is basically "If straight people can do it, so can we". And, really, wearing a collar is a LOT more innocent than some of the shit straight people get away with.